Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
