Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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