From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
