I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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