Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
