Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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