I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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