Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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