This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize