I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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