in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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