i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
