TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
