why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize