Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
