she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
