Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
