i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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