Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm bleeding and have questions
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
