Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize