Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
