can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize