Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
