hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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