You can't motorboat a personality
I think my fart just growled at me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize