I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
