Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
