They should really pass out barf bags in church
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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