please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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