She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
