Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
