Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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