I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
