Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i think im in europe. pls send help
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
