how can u be prego again
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
