I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
