Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
