Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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