IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Drunk is not a location!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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