Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
