SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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