I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
