singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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