scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
