i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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