Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
