my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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