We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
