Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize