He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
