what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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