found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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