just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
