we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Randomize
