:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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