So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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