I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
