your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
