Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
