every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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