Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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