i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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