went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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