When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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