I didn't shave. On purpose
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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