***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She announced her abortion via fbk
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
