i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize