no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
