What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
