dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
